Confessions of a Turtle Mom – 50 Reasons My Mommy Karma Needs a Wedding Shine

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Happy Mother’s Day! And welcome to my 50 days of promotion and 99 cents sale for  The Fairy Tale Bride.  The goal is to sell enough ebooks to give my daughter a nice wedding. Otherwise…chips and cola…, you know what I mean? Besides, I owe her.

You’ve heard of the Tiger Mom, right? Well that’s not me. A Tiger Mom would not find herself congratulating her daughter on her engagement while secretly thinking, “You are going to elope, aren’t you?” No. A Tiger Mom would start the Flower Girl and Ring Bearer drills before the engagement was announced, to ensure the most impressively flawless wedding procession possible.

Does this look like the most cuddly of moms?

I, on the other hand, am a Turtle Mom: patient and steady, except for the times when my head is stuck in my shell and I squat like a stone on the side of the road. Life with me as a mother has been frustrating for this Turtle Mom’s daughter, who spent a good part of her life staring at her reflection in polished tortoiseshell while her Turtle Mom was tucked away playing with words and not saving up spare pennies for a wedding for her only daughter.

We all remember the Aesop’s Fable “The Tortoise and the Hare,” right? The Tortoise wins! Winner!! (Anyone else find that dubious, even at age six?). Well, maybe not so far-fetched. It turns out that the out-of-print historical romance novels I have been editing, revising and formatting to release in ebook form (see story on that hot mess here) all have the word Bride in them. Bride. As in wedding. As in Turtle Mom for the win! It has to be fate. Has to be.

The first of the these books is The Fairy Tale Bride. Really. Could a title point any more clearly to a way to a way for this Turtle Mom to regain some Mommy-Karma? You can find it for sale at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Smashwords, iBooks, and Kobo. (Note: Sale price already active at Amazon and Smashwords, in process at the other sites).

So, today, on Mother’s Day, I am poking my head out of my shell in a bid to restore some of the Mommy Karma lost by the side of the road. This Turtle Mom want to give her daughter a wedding that represents who she is: a generous loving friend, daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece and cousin; an advocate for others; and someone who rolls up her sleeves to help without being asked (and someone who is not fond of the spotlight — she has asked not to be the main focus of my promotion attempts, so I will not use her name or any contemporary photographs of her; Note: those of you who know her, please limit the teasing and wisecracks to one a day).

[NOTE: This sale period has passed, and The Fairy Tale Bride is now on sale for 2.99] For the next 50 days, The Fairy Tale Bride will be on sale for 99 cents (Hot Sale Price = Everyone Winning!), as I document the many reasons this Turtle Mom needs to come out of her shell and sell enough copies to pay for a fairy tale wedding. Please, if you are a romantic at heart, Tweet, Like my Book Page on FaceBook, and indulge in good old-fashioned word of mouth to help a Turtle Mom out.

[NOTE: For those who want to support the wedding cause, but don't like historical romance, I have three mom-centered literary fantasy short stories for sale now, at 99 cents each:

Napping on Jungle Time is a 2,000 word contemporary fantasy short story about a mother who is exhausted to the point of hallucinations after being on sick-child duty for too long.

Diapers, Dishes and Demons is a 5,000 word contemporary fantasy short story about a mother with her own personal postpartum depression demon.

Queen of Hearts is a fantasy story about a mother who, literally, is responsible for the care of her family's hearts and must keep a secret that would bring her kingdom down.]

And if you want to learn more about Turtle Mom Fail!, come back for the next 50 days, which will be dedicated to the Confessions of the Turtle Mom detailing the reasons why I so desperately need to regain some Mommy Karma (besides my secret hope that she had plans to elope). [NOTE: Now that the 50 days are passed, you don't have to wait, you can read all the posts. Just click on About a Wedding in the sidebar, and enjoy.]

Sneak Preview of soon-to-be-exposed family secrets of Turtle Mom: “I made her wear this on Halloween!”; “I forgot to pick her up from Girl Scouts”; and “I told her she had to wait until she was 16 to get her ears pierced.”

Kelly is a writer, a mom, and a reading tutor for children with dyslexia. Plus, she is totally addicted to her iPad. Curse you, Steve Jobs.

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Posted in About a Wedding, Crazy or Genius?, My, How This Business Has Changed, My, How This Business Has Not Changed, Uncategorized
11 comments on “Confessions of a Turtle Mom – 50 Reasons My Mommy Karma Needs a Wedding Shine
  1. Congratulations on your daughter’s engagement.

  2. Kellym says:

    Thank you! We’re very pleased for her.

  3. Lyn Cote says:

    Are you paying ALL the wedding costs? When my son got married, the bride, groom, bride’s parents and we all chipped in. And they had a lovely sweet economical wedding. so did you ask the groom’s parents if they were turtles or tigers?

  4. Kellym says:

    Right now, the happy couple are planning to foot the bill with (very) modest donation from us. When I told daughter my plan, she was happy and grateful for any help that comes their way (they live in a high cost area and are shopping for a home, too). Heads are on straight, that pair. But I would love to give her some freedom of choice, because we have a big family and she has literally made friends all around the world. A nice sales push for the 50 day promotion would let them invite and feed more of the important people in their lives when they celebrate their big day.

  5. Karen Cioffi says:

    Congratulations! I have two daughters, so I hear you. Nice marketing strategy: Help me get my daughter married. LOL

  6. Phoebe Conn says:

    Hi Kelly,
    I believe in love and bought a copy of your book to support your wedding effort. It’s a lovely idea to give your book a push, too.

  7. Kellym says:

    Thank you Phoebe! Love isn’t as easy as Hallmark makes it sound, but it is worth the hard work (says someone into her third decade of married life).

  8. Kellym says:

    Well, if I had been quicker on my feet, maybe I could have gotten McDonalds to give me a job using the same strategy? No. I’m too old for McDonalds. Besides, these books have Bride in the title. When fate knocks me on the head a few times, I get the message. Sometimes. LOL.

  9. April says:

    HUGE congrats!!! How exciting!

  10. lindasands says:

    I love this! You are inspiring, and I know this fairy tale will have a happy ending!
    ~linda
    http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/writerlindasands

  11. V.R. Leavitt says:

    Wonderful post and congrats on your daughter’s engagement. I like the term “Turtle Mom.” :-)

7 Pings/Trackbacks for "Confessions of a Turtle Mom – 50 Reasons My Mommy Karma Needs a Wedding Shine"
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  7. [...] with cute title and premise. 50 days of blogging about why I owed my daughter a nice wedding: Confessions of a Turtle Mom was [...]

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